i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
