omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
