Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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