I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
