i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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