I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
