Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
