I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Never joke about your clitoris.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
