my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
