Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
