I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
