you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
