she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
