i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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