I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
