So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
