I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
