Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
