Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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