the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
no you cant smoke seaweed
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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