she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
