It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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