once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
