That's when you crack a 10am beer
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
