I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
