you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
