p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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