I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
