so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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