My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you would pick up someone in the library
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
