he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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