so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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