This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
handjob tips. give me some.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
