Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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