so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
