I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
