My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
