we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize