She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
