You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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