she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
