I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
