I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
