Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
