I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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