I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
