Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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