I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
