Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
