I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
