You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
