He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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