is your mom at the bar?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize
