It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
