it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
