I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
All the doctor said was why
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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