Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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