Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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