Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize