I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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