just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
